Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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