mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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