We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She's the barista slut.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
