When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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