One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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