so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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