I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
