i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
