Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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