so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
