That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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