We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
