i just wanna soil my oats bro
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
