i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
