Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
