I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
