dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
