My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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