My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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