Christians are straight up FREAKS
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I need moral support for this bender
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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