they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
