Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
