My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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