I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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