If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize