I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Shame - the story of my life.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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