my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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