Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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