But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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