similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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