They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
