Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
