Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
