i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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