You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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