She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
