Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
