remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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