And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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