There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
