This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Randomize