walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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