So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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