Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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