i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
