I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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