so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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