I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
