Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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