He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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