chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
