Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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