Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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