I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we're making bets on your personal life
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
