I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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