i'm signing you up for texting rehab
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
