he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
