I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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