I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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